The Wanderer: High Range Club, Munnar

All that glitters is not gold. All that is old is not heritage. Nestled on a hill, the 101-year-old High Range Club, Munnar has a proud legacy of many firsts to its credit. However, this club is far from heritage. Here are four reasons why you should avoid it and some tips to watch out for any tourist dwellings that may masquerade as heritage:

1. Back to basics:

The Indian Hotels Association classifies a heritage property as dating back to 1935 or earlier with a minimum of 10 rooms with basic amenities. How basic is basic? The day hubby and I arrived, the phone line in our room not working. The reason: "Lightning struck last night and since then all lines are down." So we called the reception from our cell phones. I thought in the good ole' days one used a bell to call their domestic help. I didn't find any buzzers in our room.

Later that evening, for about 2 hours, the telephone operators kept testing our lines (imagine trring trring trring, every 2 minutes) and eventually replaced the handset. We had advance booked the room a month before and had driven down 500 kms earlier that day. Given our mental health, we did not dare to check if the phone was working. Did I mention we did not have a fan in the room?

2. Décor – rating:

"Exquisitely designed and decorated; meticulously preserved" is how a journal describes heritage properties should be. I am not sure that includes tackily fixed-erstwhile-broken down furniture. Single cots that didn't align at the centre, drawers and windows that needed a Herculean effort to open and close and sub zero size tables– all this and much more welcomed us. Guess the British took the furniture back with them.

3. Service (the lack of it):

The waiter who attended to us bonded so well with us that he started sniggering at the property manager's capabilities (amnesia for starters), the bad food served here (he also suggested that we should eat outside) and why no one comes to stay here (poor service). Needless to say, his own sense of duty was found wanting by us several times. Our room was not stocked with fresh towels, mosquito mat and machine (a common fixture in hill stations) and drinking water when we checked in. The room was not serviced the next day. The waiter's excuse: You did not give me the room key. How did the burra sahibs deal with such statements?

4. Authenticity missing:

Heritage properties usually welcome guests graciously, give them a tour of the property and their room in particular, help them settle and then entertain them with the best of local cuisine, arts and crafts. All of that was missing here. The common rooms were left open to us without anyone taking the trouble to give us an introduction. Food was mediocre and no hard drinks are allowed on the premises (A teetotaler Englishman? Beats me). No activities were arranged by the club such as tea tasting sessions, tea plantation visits, local folk arts, and sale of local crafts. Worse still, the manager and the reception were not of much help with local sightseeing either.

My mother once said "any place that is frightfully old is inhospitable." In this case I would agree with her. Unless you can be satisfied with Analog TV watching, mosquito swatting and mountain gazing, don't bother with this place.

PS: The club has a 9-hole golf course, squash and tennis courts and a billiards table- all of which you can access for a steep fee. We didn't check any of this out. Perhaps there are more tales there.