Saturday, June 12, 2010

Office- Office: Perception Management, the Ramu Kaka Way

The other day the wide eyed wonder was found with eyes red. Apparently her boss felt she was not doing any work and “I work like a bloody donkey 14 hours a day”, she sobbed. What do you do when trapped with perception management issues? Look inwards – I mean look within the confines of your house and see that hard worker who adds the extra shine to your floors. Your domestic help.

You might hate your servant, but you still won’t dismiss him/her. They take a month off without notice leaving you gritting your teeth and awaiting their return. Their work is always found wanting. They ask for a raise, old clothes/ shoes/bags, “chai paani”, medicines, salary in advance, new clothes and all you can do is give into their demands.

There is no better representation of perception management. Put yourself in the humble servant’s shoes and imagine the control you can have over your boss! To get there, just follow these three rules:

1. Be humble: It gives people an illusion of control over you. Eventually an intangible bond builds up and your boss can never dare to shriek “WHAT KIND OF SHODDY WORK HAVE YOU DONE?”. They will think it is rude.

2. The 80:20 rule: Do 80% of your work putting in only 20% of your efforts. Save the bulk of your talent for the evasive 20% of quality work. (Wondered why servants put in their best before the festival season? So they can avail a pay rise, leave and new clothes..)

3. Never mind your own business: The employee who prospers, is the one whose eyes are wandering and ears de-waxed. Every boss loves to hear gossip if packaged appropriately. Gossip tops the do-do-list. (After all don’t you overlook the dirt under the bed in exchange for knowing which TV Mr. Khanna has purchased or where the Reddys are vacationing this year or how the flat secretary Pandey came drunk one evening…..?)

As for the wide eyed wonder, she has decided to re-instate both her servants.