Office-Office: Ghostwriting

I was surprised when a close friend asked if I had stopped writing. No fiery articles from you any more, he remarked. Defending myself, I pointed out how my piece had appeared last week only in a leading financial daily. "Where?", he asked. That is when reality struck.

The piece was published and I did receive accolades for it from the boss, however, it did not appear with my byline. It had the Super Boss's name. Welcome to corporate India's legacy of ghostwriting.

We (actually "they") do not believe in speechwriters, only ghostwriters. Ghosts technically don't exist and consequently neither do their opinions. So old farts, who don't know the difference between a comma and a full stop, can lecture ghosts on getting the punctuation right and feel powerful. As to the point of view in the article/presentation, every ghost comes with a rich (and supposedly colorful) past and is expected to delve into that experience and create a point of view. God help if that too doesn't make sense to the old farts!

Mortal speechwriters on the other hand, will ask for a formal designation, authority and scope of work even before stepping into office. The point of view created by them, albeit unoriginal, will be backed by so many studies/ reference material, that the old farts feel positively afraid to even raise a finger. A ghostwriter is immune to criticism and will easily work on version 20.20, while preparing mentally for version 20.40 of the document. A speechwriter will not budge beyond version 2.0.

Ghosts create endearing articles, speechwriters create crafty propaganda. Ghosts create heros, speechwriters create "strong" personalities (read Villains).

Lastly, ghosts can conveniently be banished, if found unsuitable. Speechwriters, on the other hand, might form unions, demand more than basic wages and come at you hammer and tongs for lack of work-life balance. They might even ask for institutionalizing stress relief breaks (smoke time).

If a ghost screams foul and threatens to leave, he is shown the direction to the marketing department and given a fancy designation like "Marketing Manager" or "Communications Advisor", minus any reportees or role change. And yes, when you finish one year with the company, do not expect any cake cutting/ hands clapping or congratulatory notes from the HR. Remember, ghosts do not exist.