Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Office-Office: Succession Planning

It is one of those scenarios where the "Hurray! Yipee!!  At least someone is leaving this hell hole!" sentiment can soon give way to "Jeez, we have a new pain the ass to deal with." And if it is your boss that is being replaced, even god cannot help you.
A good succession plan in the past involved the ex-boss spoon-feeding the new boss until the new boss was suitably brain dead.  That way the one could continue work without any disruption and maintain standards (whatever they may be). That however, is now crudely achieved (cost cutting should I think?). 
You come in one morning and realize the super-boss is particularly grumpy. Investigations reveal that the your boss has vamoosed - bag, baggage, insider information and all.  You are seen as a free bird.  Jealous looks are exchanged. Whispers and the occasional stifled sob saying "why is she the lucky one?" echo off the sound-proof cubicle walls.
Feeling lucky? Momentarily. No more blood pressure raising emails wanting everything yet to be discovered "right now!". No more brain malfunctions on reading the emails. No scathing feedback either. FREEDOM!, Wait a second, why is your mail box refusing to open?  IT Support tells you it has crashed. A recovery shows 157 emails from Super-boss in the past hour. You sigh and get to work.
Two months later, you have a series of emails from an unknown entity. Just as you are about to report it as spam, you notice the sender's designation.  Your new boss has entered the system and is asking for pretty much everything stored in your laptop. "I have to tell him how to work?! Why is he my boss then?"..The rage builds up. Over several video conferences next week, you spoon-feed the new boss until you can cause significant brain damage. Super-boss, miffed with the ex-boss, refuses to test his share of brain damaging potion on the new boss. Eager to impress, the new boss insists you help him on weekends to "better understand" the system and calls you "dearie".
That night, bleary eyed, you decide to float your resume in the market aiming to do what your ex-boss did.  As for succession planning, that is for your subordinate to worry about.

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